CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Two North Carolina podcasters are using their platform to be a resource for fathers.

Their show, The Black Dads Club, is helping fathers across the state and beyond. Its creators, Gavin Boulware and Mike Willingham, want to spread the word about how important a dad is in a child’s life.

For Boulware, life as a dad is never boring.

“No day is the same — it’s crazy, it’s hectic, nothing’s the same,” he said.

His son Roman, 4, might keep him on his toes, but he shows up no matter how hard it may be.

“The most rewarding part is knowing that you change somebody else’s life,” Boulware said.

But parenting is hard and experts say false stereotypes can lead some men to think they’re in this alone.

“I think sometimes as Black men, we tend to keep things close to the chest, and we’re not too boisterous about, hey, you know, this is actually what’s happening, I am here, I am present, I’m in my child’s life,” said Rufus Lockhart of The Fatherhood Empowerment Network.

According to the academic journal Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Black fathers have dealt with claims of being uninvolved and disengaged from their children.

Lockhart, who founded the network, says media culture, specifically social media, has spread those claims despite contrary research.

An Early Head Start study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that African American fathers who do not live with their children full time were more involved with them than white fathers. The Journal of Developmental Psychology shows Black fathers of all socioeconomic groups were no less involved with their children than fathers in other groups, especially when it comes to visiting activities, like seeing family or attending playdates.

Lockhart says he started his organization to help hundreds of dads who need support and resources.

“Any type of assistance and things of that nature that are provided for single moms when the dad is the absentee parent. But those same resources aren’t available for fathers when the mother is absentee parent. And it’s OK to say, hey, I’m in need, I’m struggling, I need help, as opposed to just keeping it close to the chest and not reach out for help,” Lockhart said.

Every week, Boulware hits record with his friend Willingham. They talk about being dads and the struggles that come with it. Over the last five years, they have been building community through their podcast, serving as a resource for fathers nationwide.

“There are no resources, and it does feel like no one cares. So I think when we build, when we build a community out and we have people that respond, we have people that reach out, we have people that follow us, we’re like, oh, wow, someone cares. And then we’ve had several comments where guys say, ‘I feel like I’m seen for the first time,’” Willingham said.

Willingham and Boulware say they are disproving stereotypes every week on their podcast and every day with their sons.

“Just look at the Black men that, you know, that you come across and say, ‘Hey, where are the kids?’ And you’re going to realize a lot of them are with their kids and spending time with their children,” Boulware said. “So, you know, we know the myth isn’t true and we’re trying to do our part.”

“That’s why I come out here,” he said. “I let people see me with my kid. I love being with my child. I couldn’t imagine not doing this every day.” 

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